Falling Off the Regimens

Here's my obligatory apology for not posting in a while: oops.

I recently had a visitor in town. A fellow healthy eating hopeful from the land of the north. (Crap, I've been watching too much Game of Fucking Thrones.) Anyhow, since I had been eating pretty healthy after a spell of not eating healthy after a spell of eating healthy, I was determined to continue to eat mostly healthy for my sake and the sake of my visitor. So when I picked her up I told her that I would need her help in this. She looked at me, puzzled as to what could possibly distract such a determined person from her goal. "Austin," I told her, "is basically a series of falling off of your regimens."

As in, whatever your regimens be, Austin make it easy to eff up. One minute its "I'm gonna cut back on drinking" followed by "oh, but there's a bloody mary bar at this brunch place that we are going to tomorrow because my friend who used to live here is going to be in town. Oh and she wants us to go out and see this band tonight and they might be bad, so I'll probably wanna drink, but after this weekend I can stop, unless we get tickets to Blah Blah Blah fest cause they will have free Golden Zipper beer which is this microbrew that my friend who used to be in a band makes. Do you wanna go right now and also later to this awesome food trailer that's behind this bar that used to be cool?"

Speaking of food trailers, eating plans are even more subject to revision in my experience. One minute I'm like "blah blah paleo diet, ethical meat, oh and dairy causes inflammation, and I don't eat carbs, and I'm working on being a locavore because industrialized food business is what's wrong with America. The Western diet is bullshit and so is high fructose corn syrup and other redundant things." But then. Twenty hairdos and five nights later, and I've forgotten to go to the grocery store, and I need to go to this other benefit show so there's no time to cook anyway, which is okay because they opened a new trailer yard near my house and the menu at this one trailer was designed by the last winner of Iron Asshole. And Willie Nelson will be there so it's okay if I eat there just this once. "Mmm pig anus with enriched bleached flour and rotten high fructose corn syrup tomatoes sauce!"

If you are curious how it turned out, regimens got falled off of.* We started off the week with Whole Foods and by cooking whole foods, with a few planned exceptions for Tacodeli and Indian food, but before we knew it, there was queso, and Whataburger, and pants not fitting. It was a lot like what I described above, but with no Willie Nelson.

I'm not saying it's impossible or even that it's Austin's fault, but I'm pretty sure that if I lived in a town where my own cooking was the most exciting thing, or where I'd already done all the good stuff a million times, it would be easier. I have a new(ish) plan though, that involves NOT falling off my regimen. I'll write about it in my next post, provided I don't fall off that again. Or again again. Crap.

More Game of Thrones!

*How do you like that Joan Jolt? Double prep ending, passive construction, and...also something wrong with my verb, all in one clause. It actually requires more talent than good grammar.