Snort, Snort, Bitches

I just want to point out what a process it has been to get to the point where I can dress up as a pig, albeit no ordinary pig, and have men yell "Piggy, Piiiiigy, and Piiiiigggyyy" at me, and enjoy it. I've tossed around the idea of being Miss Piggy for Halloween before, but I always quickly ruled it out. Any true fat girl will know why this might give you pause. Given how I AM Miss Piggy, this was ridiculous and sad. To make my case about being Miss Piggy-- an over-the-top, confident to a fault, glamour loving, possibly delusional diva, I present this:

After rewatching this as an adult, I realize that Miss Piggy was one of my first profound influences. I remember experiencing some cognitive dissonance: I knew she was a sexy and fabulous, but I also already knew that larger women weren't sexy and fabulous. I get it now, and thank Miss Piggy for this model. Yes, I like to pretend that she is real. Anyhow, now that I've embraced the pig, I'm pretty sure I'll be Miss Piggy again and again. Snort snort!