I never got to yesterday's post because I was busy writing application essays for National Endowment for the Humanities workshops, try-ING to watch Ru Paul's Drag Race which I couldn't do because Logo TV were busted like Tyra Sanchez's grill before she get it fixed so she could tell JujuB that the bbq was back on, and being tired, and doing my core workout, and planning a Gatsby related outfit for the teachins! So anyhow, this is a two day entry. I think I've hit upon another reason that eating well is often trumped by eating conveniently. I clearly have other priorities. I wonder if I can fix that.
Yesterday-- Feb 28 2012
Breakfast: Eggs (2 or 3...dunno again) with spinach and tomatoes*
Snack: Earl Grey Latte (I paid attention to the spelling this time.) + Starbucks Protein Box**
Lunch: Turkey, spinach, hummus
Dinner: WF Sushi***, oh shit...more hummus****, spinach
Today-- Feb 29 2012
Breakfast: Breakfast Tacos from WF, ICED COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Snack: World's Smallest Heart Shaped Cookie delivered by students for Rare Disease Day. I have a rare disease. It's called eating tiny cookies even though I shouldn't. Oh I guess that isn't rare.
Lunch: Spinach Salad with strawberries, almonds, goat cheese, and ham.
Dinner/ Snack-- we'll see: HEB High Fructose Corn Syrup Rice and Fish aka Sushi. I call it like it is.
Dinner?: 2 delicious pints from Opal Divines.
*This is why I'm fat? Seriously, who fucking eats veggies for breakfast?
** See, what had happened was, that another teacher teaches in my room during second period, which is right about when I would go for some Starbucks, if I could have some Starbucks, and its just right there, so I can. And then "Protein Box!" jumps out of my mouth. It's not that bad, but it contains gluten and dairy...foods that make my body angry. It's public education's fault...building schools and big shitty suburban neighborhoods full of breeders and Home Depots and then being confused when there's not enough classroom space? (No offense, to um...Hinda Lengst, as I know you are reading this.)
***Yes, again.
**** So, I am pretty sure I am overeating some healthy foods, like nuts and hummus. I think I can get away with this if I'm not eating carbs, but clearly I am having a few, here and there, and there and here. I'm gonna go with it for now though, as I think I have bigger damn problems than the amount of organic chick peas and olive oil I eat. That's an easy fix for later.
So...are you wondering if there's gonna be some narrative arc here? Like a point where I get my shit together and eat as I mean to, or some grand epiphany wherein I accept myself for who I am (yeah, I keep doing that, but it doesn't fix erething.) Or maybe I'll find love!!!! Yeah, I wonder all this shit too.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Today's Eatings
Breakfast: Eggs (I cant remember how many) + Applegate sausages + Earl Gray (or is it Grey? I should figure this out because I think I may need to type it every single day. FYI-- Stash makes an EG (problem solved) with double bergamot essence for $1.99...excited to try this!
Lunch: Iced coffee big and black (how I take it). Protein plate from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Includes one egg, quinoa, nuts, and cheese.
Snack: More nuts?
Dinner: Spinach salad with strawberries, goat cheese, almond slivers (no, I didn't make this. It conveniently came from Central Market, where I bought some other things I won't exactly be making.) and the rare salad dressing. (I know it seems sick that I don't eat salad dressing...but I really like tasting the veggies...who the fuck knew?) Cheeseburger from P.Terry's+ ginger beer.
Current level of acid reflux: ouch. What I'm doing about it: bitching?
Cellulite alert level: pretty moderate
Today's exercise: maybe yoga in a minute. Or maybe bed.
Lunch: Iced coffee big and black (how I take it). Protein plate from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Includes one egg, quinoa, nuts, and cheese.
Snack: More nuts?
Dinner: Spinach salad with strawberries, goat cheese, almond slivers (no, I didn't make this. It conveniently came from Central Market, where I bought some other things I won't exactly be making.) and the rare salad dressing. (I know it seems sick that I don't eat salad dressing...but I really like tasting the veggies...who the fuck knew?) Cheeseburger from P.Terry's+ ginger beer.
Current level of acid reflux: ouch. What I'm doing about it: bitching?
Cellulite alert level: pretty moderate
Today's exercise: maybe yoga in a minute. Or maybe bed.
Kale and Other Shit You Should Eat.
So, I said there was no rhyme or reason to what I ate over the weekend, but actually I can see that my nemesis, convenience, drove most of the choices. I'm posting my thoughts on this from an entry in my Food Diary a few weeks ago (Yes, my big fat fairy tale includes writing down most everything I eat, always, and most of the time what I think about everything I eat. Joy.) before I decided that I could share all my positive healthy and dark dark dark thoughts about eating, body image, and nutrition publicly.
February 7, 2012
We’ll I guess it is official. I hate myself. I mean, I must. Since the last time I actually wrote down my eating (and just barely at that) which was during my mildly successful Candida cleanse (candida seemingly gone, fat…still here), I’ve been eating…sugar…and gluten…and dairy. All shit that hates me…so why would I put it in my body, if I don’t hate myself? More on this later.
To be fair, a part of it is convenience…which is always a barrier, even when I’m committed to eating well. If it wasn’t for the fact that I live in an environment where I CAN side-step the barrier by dropping an ungodly amount of money for a salad or somesuch at Whole Foods ($15 or more FOR LUNCH), this would have actually crippled all of my efforts thus far. Its not that I can’t make my own foods, but I’ve got a lifetime of training to err toward convenience in my food selections—See “Lean Cuisine” which did not keep me lean and isn’t a cuisine, btw.
Furthermore, I’m pretty sure American lifestyles and foodways are centered around convenience entirely now. Not only is the pace of life SUPERFUCKINGFAST, driven by my personality, my job, and some societal conditioning, but if I happen to be, you know, hungry, HUNGRY, or hangry, I’ll pass about 800 shitty but convenient options, before I get home to make some chicken with my severely unhoned cooking skills. Fortunately, I can choose Whole Foods or Zen or Tacodeli…but even those things are starting to catch up with me. I mean, I bought an Almond Horn at Whole Foods with my eggs the other morning. Am I fucking insane? I didn’t work this hard crafting an eating plan, losing weight, etc to fucking fall to an Almond Horn! That’s bread, dammit! With sugar. …I know what you are thinking. A bitch should be able to eat some bread here or there! Well not this bitch. And I know it already. Bread leads to more bread. And it did. I had a Chick-Fil-A sin today that involved bread. And you know what? I got it in the drive-thru. And then later I had HEB sushi to go—with white rice. (Don’t judge. This is excellent supermarket sushi… albeit with HFCS.) And I was mad too cause you have to get out of the car for that. Where’s my sushi drive thru? Fuckit. I’d settle for a sushi drive-in.
It’ll never happen, but what we need is for healthy to be the most convenient and aggressively marketed thing. If there was a big lettuce head sign off the highway, and I could pull up and order some healthy shit, I might do it.
“Welcome to Kale and Other Shit You Should Eat. May I take your healthy ass order?”
“Yeah…umm…I’ll have one free range chicken platter with a…um…let’s see…a quinoa. Yeah, one quinoa please.”
“Did you want to make it a meal deal by adding kale and a detoxifying tea?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. Can I jumbo size that kale?”
“You sure can, cause that’s a healthful choice FULL of nutrition. Now are you a protein type? Cause we can include some dark meat and increase the amount of chicken. We don’t want you to be under calorie or lose your awesome muscle mass!”
“Yes, please.”
“OK that’s one chicken platter, dark and hearty. One quinoa. Biggie size kale and a detox tea. That’ll be $47. Pull around and wait about an hour.
Oh wait. We did have something like this in Austin. Baby Greens. I think it closed though, probably because I never went there.
Today’s (Feb 7th) food:
Apple
Earl Grey Latte
Chick-Fil A Homophobic chicken evil delicious sammich
HEB sushi with crab, caviar, and white rice
Update: Today I discovered that you actually can get quinoa in a drive-thru. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the Hancock shopping center sells a protein plate with quinoa. I wasn't really hungry yet, but I got it on principle.
What I've Been Eating While Not Blogging
Friday Feb 24
Breakfast: 2 Tacodeli Ottos...with corn tortilla
Lunch: salami and hummus
Snack: mixed nuts
Dinner: Apothecary-- Wine, Micheladas, Pork Sliders, some chips
Exercise: Short 20 min run with intervals
Saturday Feb 25th
Breakfast: 2 Tacodeli Ottos...with corn tortilla (Do I have a problem with Tacodeli? Yes, not as profound as my red handbag problem, but still.)
Lunch: Brown rice salmon sushi from Whole Foods (Do I have a problem with Whole Foods sushi? Yes, not as profound as my Tacodeli problem, but still.) Also, chocolate milk for my acid reflux...helped for a second.
Snack: Larabar
Dinner: Ham and hummus...oh shit...no vegetables today...that's a problem
Snack: Bourbon @ The Capital Shakedown @ The 29th Street Ballroom. (Do I have a problem with bourbon? No, mutherfucker, I don't.)
Exercise: Skating around the school, including some endurance. Some dancing.
Sunday Feb 26th
Breakfast: Starbucks sausage breakfast sandwich and Earl Gray Latte.
Lunch: Chips, salsa, guacamole, ceviche @ Takoba. Oh yeah...two micheladas (also not a problem.)
Dinner: Spinach (finally) with chicken thigh and blueberries and tomatoes.
Snack: Cake, popcorn, Tullamore Dew, cheese, pizza...okay that wasn't snack, I guess.
Exercise: Rec League practice which was a Jam Skate lesson. Walking and running the dog on the trail (about 1 mile?) Also, 20 mins of yoga before practice.
Why I Ate This: Honestly, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of rhyme or reason here. I ate gluten, dairy, and sugar, and drank too much, and didn't eat many vegetables. Other than a few choices I made to try to deal with acid reflux, there's clearly not much thought process here. On the bright side though, there's plenty of protein involved and everything was well spaced out, so I avoided being overly full at any point, which is a nice favor to my digestive and endocrine systems. Supposedly, if I do this even when I'm not thinking so much about eating, then its a positive habit that I've fully integrated into my life.
Breakfast: 2 Tacodeli Ottos...with corn tortilla
Lunch: salami and hummus
Snack: mixed nuts
Dinner: Apothecary-- Wine, Micheladas, Pork Sliders, some chips
Exercise: Short 20 min run with intervals
Saturday Feb 25th
Breakfast: 2 Tacodeli Ottos...with corn tortilla (Do I have a problem with Tacodeli? Yes, not as profound as my red handbag problem, but still.)
Lunch: Brown rice salmon sushi from Whole Foods (Do I have a problem with Whole Foods sushi? Yes, not as profound as my Tacodeli problem, but still.) Also, chocolate milk for my acid reflux...helped for a second.
Snack: Larabar
Dinner: Ham and hummus...oh shit...no vegetables today...that's a problem
Snack: Bourbon @ The Capital Shakedown @ The 29th Street Ballroom. (Do I have a problem with bourbon? No, mutherfucker, I don't.)
Exercise: Skating around the school, including some endurance. Some dancing.
Sunday Feb 26th
Breakfast: Starbucks sausage breakfast sandwich and Earl Gray Latte.
Lunch: Chips, salsa, guacamole, ceviche @ Takoba. Oh yeah...two micheladas (also not a problem.)
Dinner: Spinach (finally) with chicken thigh and blueberries and tomatoes.
Snack: Cake, popcorn, Tullamore Dew, cheese, pizza...okay that wasn't snack, I guess.
Exercise: Rec League practice which was a Jam Skate lesson. Walking and running the dog on the trail (about 1 mile?) Also, 20 mins of yoga before practice.
Why I Ate This: Honestly, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of rhyme or reason here. I ate gluten, dairy, and sugar, and drank too much, and didn't eat many vegetables. Other than a few choices I made to try to deal with acid reflux, there's clearly not much thought process here. On the bright side though, there's plenty of protein involved and everything was well spaced out, so I avoided being overly full at any point, which is a nice favor to my digestive and endocrine systems. Supposedly, if I do this even when I'm not thinking so much about eating, then its a positive habit that I've fully integrated into my life.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day Two (Sorta)
Of what...I'm not sure. Of being honest in a blog? Yeah, that.
Here's what I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 Ottos, no tortilla from Tacodeli
Lunch: Sushi with High Fructose Corn Syrup from HEB, Silk chocolate milk
Snack: Banana
Dinner: Chips, queso, sangria, some salmon with coconut cream dish from Sao Paulo.
Snack: cocktails?
Why I ate this: Breakfast= lazy, lunch= lazy+ acid reflux, dinner = friend in crisis. Also, I am having my period.
Here's what I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 Ottos, no tortilla from Tacodeli
Lunch: Sushi with High Fructose Corn Syrup from HEB, Silk chocolate milk
Snack: Banana
Dinner: Chips, queso, sangria, some salmon with coconut cream dish from Sao Paulo.
Snack: cocktails?
Why I ate this: Breakfast= lazy, lunch= lazy+ acid reflux, dinner = friend in crisis. Also, I am having my period.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Day One of a Million Day Ones
What I ate today:
Breakfast: 3 eggs + Applegate Farms sausage + spinach
Snack: Brown rice sushi w salmon
Lunch: Tuna salad with kale salad
Snack: Larabar, Pecan butter
Snack: Mixed nuts, banana
Dinner: German sausage, spinach, tomatoes, blueberries
Why I ate this: At the moment, I am working on clearing all the mistaken sugar from the weekend and its resulting cravings, from my system. For this reason, or maybe something to do with my lady cycles, I was hungry like a velociraptor today. I do believe I had at least one too many nut based snacks today (or so says my heartburn) but at this point I'd rather make too many healthy choices than risk being HUNGRY or hungry or HANGRY.
Breakfast: 3 eggs + Applegate Farms sausage + spinach
Snack: Brown rice sushi w salmon
Lunch: Tuna salad with kale salad
Snack: Larabar, Pecan butter
Snack: Mixed nuts, banana
Dinner: German sausage, spinach, tomatoes, blueberries
Why I ate this: At the moment, I am working on clearing all the mistaken sugar from the weekend and its resulting cravings, from my system. For this reason, or maybe something to do with my lady cycles, I was hungry like a velociraptor today. I do believe I had at least one too many nut based snacks today (or so says my heartburn) but at this point I'd rather make too many healthy choices than risk being HUNGRY or hungry or HANGRY.
Just Who Do I Think I Am?
Who do I think I am? What to say? How does/should/could any woman define herself? What's inside a girl, y'all?
Look, if I knew the answers to any of that, I wouldn't be writing a blog about fat, fatness, my fatness, and how I'm not fat, and how it doesn't matter if I am which I'm not.
Here's a few things that it might help a reader to know about me:
Name: Miss Lady (Yes, sure, my mother named me that.)
Age: 36
Ht: 5ft 0 inches, though I sometimes reach 5ft 1 inch after a lot of yoga.
Wt: I don't know, asshole. (Seriously, its in the upper reaches of the one hundred something, but I'd rather post the exact number when I know it.)
Overbust measurement: 46
Waist: 35
Hips: 46
Metabolic type: Protein-- This means I eat protein not because of some fad diet, but because it seems right for me. I feel sure of that because carbs alone or in excess make me feel like ripping someone's face off or taking an eternal nap and protein produces an opposite, and more desirable effect. I determined this using the help of a professional nutritionist, some books, and wading through internet bullshit (like this!).
Number of years on a diet: Hmm...29? It depends on when we could say I stopped. I AM not on a diet right now. Even if say I am, it's only a slip up or a term of convenience.
Answer to the question, "Have you tried working out?" : Yes.
"Like what workouts do you do?:
From 1986-1998-- aerobics, but not in shiny outfits with legwarmers which may be why it didn't work.
Since then-- Running--short, long, slow, road, track, trail, 5K, 10K, 13.1, 30K (yes, its a thing), 26.2.
Cycling Swimming Triathlon Yoga Roller Derby Various Machines At The Gym Plus Some Free Weights
"Well is there like something medically wrong with you... cause you should weight 98 lbs?": Probably. When people start giving a fuck about women's health and treating whole people, I'll get back to you with more.
Look, if I knew the answers to any of that, I wouldn't be writing a blog about fat, fatness, my fatness, and how I'm not fat, and how it doesn't matter if I am which I'm not.
Here's a few things that it might help a reader to know about me:
Name: Miss Lady (Yes, sure, my mother named me that.)
Age: 36
Ht: 5ft 0 inches, though I sometimes reach 5ft 1 inch after a lot of yoga.
Wt: I don't know, asshole. (Seriously, its in the upper reaches of the one hundred something, but I'd rather post the exact number when I know it.)
Overbust measurement: 46
Waist: 35
Hips: 46
Metabolic type: Protein-- This means I eat protein not because of some fad diet, but because it seems right for me. I feel sure of that because carbs alone or in excess make me feel like ripping someone's face off or taking an eternal nap and protein produces an opposite, and more desirable effect. I determined this using the help of a professional nutritionist, some books, and wading through internet bullshit (like this!).
Number of years on a diet: Hmm...29? It depends on when we could say I stopped. I AM not on a diet right now. Even if say I am, it's only a slip up or a term of convenience.
Answer to the question, "Have you tried working out?" : Yes.
"Like what workouts do you do?:
From 1986-1998-- aerobics, but not in shiny outfits with legwarmers which may be why it didn't work.
Since then-- Running--short, long, slow, road, track, trail, 5K, 10K, 13.1, 30K (yes, its a thing), 26.2.
Cycling Swimming Triathlon Yoga Roller Derby Various Machines At The Gym Plus Some Free Weights
"Well is there like something medically wrong with you... cause you should weight 98 lbs?": Probably. When people start giving a fuck about women's health and treating whole people, I'll get back to you with more.
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