Orginally, I was gonna tell the scale to fuck off in this post, just like Weight Watchers, but then I realized that all the harm the scale has caused really isn't the scale's fault. The problem is mine/ours: we keep trying to get it tell us info it just isn't designed to tell us. (And it could also be related to the fact that WW, who needs to fuck off, uses that scale so much. Hmm. Still mad.)
I think we've already more or less covered the story of the WW scale weigh in: the nervousness, the lightweight outfit...getting a star if the lady thinks you did good...did we talk about pooping beforehand? Here's another story for you:
In the spring of 2011 when I first started seeing a nutritionist, she did a baseline body composition test on me. I'm not talking about a test with calipers, unkindly applied to your fatty fat by a gym teacher or a sophmore kinesiology major at 24 Hour Fitness. I mean a sophicated, many thousands of dollars machine that measures your body fat, water, and lean mass including bone and muscle by sending some electricity...to...do some...stuff. We like to pretend that all that matters is monitoring the fat, but in reality we know that we are made up of all of these things, and that the water and muscle also fluctuate in ways good and bad. Body comp provides ALL the information.
So after doing a food based cleanse for about two weeks, where I felt great...if a little starved, I went back in to check and discuss my body's response. Carly always has you get on the scale first. I'm not totally sure of her purpose for that, but for me it was interesting proof of the utter lack of relationship between the two sets of numbers. Anyhow at the first check-in, the scale said I was down 7lbs! A WW leader would have done a cartwheel. Doesn't that sound fantastic? Doesn't that mean you should keep eating exactly the same thing since it is WORKING?
You know me too well...the answer is no. When we did the body comp, it revealed that I had actaully lost 5.5 lbs of muscle and only 1.5 lbs of fat. As you may know, Miss Lady is made up of many proud muscles and lots of glitter. Since I didn't want to lose any muscle, because I need it, and because muscle loss looks unpleasant to me, and because the point of nutrition is not to become weak and jiggly, we knew we had to change this. She ordered me to eat more MORE protein, up to 8oz per meal, and though we still haven't gotten to the bottom of the lack of fat loss, I have never lost any more muscle, and I generally can at least maintain my weight without feeling starved.
What strikes me too about this story, is how the converse would have played out at a WW meeting, or, to be fair, in any situation where the scale is the only real measure: If you work your ass out, let's say doing something badass like roller derby or boxing or powerlifting, you will gain muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat, so even if you lose fat too, your overall number might be larger. Its my understanding too that muscle retains water while it is building (or somesuch, no need to belabor the science if it holds up) so it is also possible to have the water number increase. In a scenario like this, you could have your muscle go up 5lbs, your water go up 1lb temporarily, and your fat decrease by 3lbs. Even though that is actally a kick ass situation for your body, if you only look at the scale, you will think you have gained 3 damn lbs of badness. If you are in a weigh-in situation, you will get a pitying head tilt. You will stress and wonder how to change your diet and if you will ever lose weight and if the world is fair at all, when you should be congratulating yourself.
So, what to do? I'd say throw out the scale, but it is one of the cheaper, more widely available ways to evaluate your body mass. The body composition tests are not everywhere and are not cheap, though I do think they are worth the money and time at least a few times a year. Of course, I am a big fan of measuring. For two dollars, that damn thing tells me plenty...though I do have to be careful to remeber that my measurements can vary for reasons like sneaky gluten bloating or lady cycles.
The solution really seems to be in not asking too much of the scale. I know, as well or better than anyone, how much you want it to tell you whether or not you'll ever lose weight or if people think you are pretty...or even just what the numbers mean that week, but it can't. Yes, if you weigh 20 lbs less on a scale after two months, you can probably say that some of your choices are producing fat loss. Or if you weight 20lbs more and can't find any new bulging muscles, you might make some assumptions from there. But on a week to week or day to day basis...all it can tell you is what your muscle and bone and water and fat add up to be. Nothing else.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
News: "Ahead of the curve"
In foot/ankle/leg news, I visited the doctor today. After a very scary weight-bearing x-ray, the doc pronounced that my leg looked good, and that I am, in fact, "ahead of the curve."
What do I attribute being "ahead of the curve" to? You guessed it: nutrition. Avoiding processed foods, which are inflamtory to all kinds a people AND taking up space in your belly while being anutritional. Avoiding foods that are inflamatory to me, such as copious cow dairy. Eating plenty of calories-- not like Seymour gave me any other choice. Eating all the protein I could. And taking fish oil.
So there you have it. My doctor indicated that it was a good plan and definitely one I should stick with if it seems to help. He also said I should write a book, which is something people say to me here and there. Hmm...
What do I attribute being "ahead of the curve" to? You guessed it: nutrition. Avoiding processed foods, which are inflamtory to all kinds a people AND taking up space in your belly while being anutritional. Avoiding foods that are inflamatory to me, such as copious cow dairy. Eating plenty of calories-- not like Seymour gave me any other choice. Eating all the protein I could. And taking fish oil.
So there you have it. My doctor indicated that it was a good plan and definitely one I should stick with if it seems to help. He also said I should write a book, which is something people say to me here and there. Hmm...
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Look out your damn window for unicorns...
or to see if hell froze over or something.
So this needs its own separate post, just to highlight it: I lost a small amount of weight, seemingly fat, while not able to exercise, or even move around that much.
Yes, people it can be done. No, it isn't drastic. Yes, my metabolism is probably still jacked in some way. (Side note: I have blood test results waiting for me, but my gyno is located on top of one of the biggest hills in Austin. No, I'm not going there in a wheelchair or on a kneeling scooter. Soon though.) I haven't had a body comp done, but I am pretty sure I lost fat along with the inevitable loss of muscle that comes with this--seriously, I have one bird leg.
My current measurements are something like this:
Overbust: 45
Waist 34
Hips 45
And my clothes don't be bothering me like they were. It's also possible that a lot of this is getting rid of BLOAT, which seems to have partially returned once I started up with the bourbon and coffee, but even if I actually didn't lose any fat...I didn't gain any, which is a miracle*. So now you should look for a unicorn.
*Not God, people--my friends, who have helped me eat right despite not being able to prepare much myself. Special shout out to Joan Jolt, who preps the food ALL the days.
So this needs its own separate post, just to highlight it: I lost a small amount of weight, seemingly fat, while not able to exercise, or even move around that much.
Yes, people it can be done. No, it isn't drastic. Yes, my metabolism is probably still jacked in some way. (Side note: I have blood test results waiting for me, but my gyno is located on top of one of the biggest hills in Austin. No, I'm not going there in a wheelchair or on a kneeling scooter. Soon though.) I haven't had a body comp done, but I am pretty sure I lost fat along with the inevitable loss of muscle that comes with this--seriously, I have one bird leg.
My current measurements are something like this:
Overbust: 45
Waist 34
Hips 45
And my clothes don't be bothering me like they were. It's also possible that a lot of this is getting rid of BLOAT, which seems to have partially returned once I started up with the bourbon and coffee, but even if I actually didn't lose any fat...I didn't gain any, which is a miracle*. So now you should look for a unicorn.
*Not God, people--my friends, who have helped me eat right despite not being able to prepare much myself. Special shout out to Joan Jolt, who preps the food ALL the days.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Meal Planning FTW
So, if anything good has come out of my otherwise fairly shite experience breaking my leg, it has been the relative mastery of several distinct types of organization-- work clothes, house shit, and eatins preparation aka meal planning.
So, it turns out that if you plan out some meals, and then make a grocery list, and then go to the store (or send your friend), and then make those meals (or have your friend do it), and then eat those meals (with your friend), you'll be totally organized in the eatins arena. Make all the meals! Oh, you have to make time to do all this btw, instead of doing other no-so-adult stuff non-stop, which is probably where I was going wrong before.
Weekend schedule before leg break: Breakfast, yoga, park, lunch, shop for sparkly things, hair, bourbon, breakfast, derby, lunch/dranks, park, yoga, laundry--maybe, sleep.
Weekend schedule now: Breakfast, park, lunch, shop for sparkly things...oh wait. This is almost the same. Well anyhow, I make time for meal planning now.
If you are curious, basically I brainstorm meals based on what I already have and would like to have, like any good writing teacher. Then I plug those meals into a umm...quick graphic organizer/rough draft wherein I plug meals in for dinner and plan to have the same thing for at least one more meal, most likely lunch the next day. Oh jesus...then I write a final draft.
Eatins, approximately anyhow:
Tues Sept 25th
Eggs + bacon
Lunch: Maybe Vindaloo? Not sure.
Dinner: Fresa's chicken with beans, two tortillas, and street corn. AND a side of Junot Diaz, the Pultizer Prize winner, who kissed me. That's right.
Snacks: Beer
Wed Sept 26th
Day off from work: Tacodeli and coffee!
Elevation burger-- lettuce wrapped burgers...with a few fries...cooked in olive oil.
Maybe something else.
Chicken Vindaloo...cooked for the next day...but I'm pretty sure I had a bit at night, as the burger was kinda early.
Thur Sept 27th
Egg Cups with chicken sausage and carrots and yellow tomatoes
Chicken Vindaloo
Tarka-- Chicken Korma with brown rice I brought there my own self. Why no brown rice world?
Fri Sept 28th
Sat Sept 29
Tacodeli-- 3 Ottos
Dinners: Sweet chili chicken with basil and brown rice, small portion. Then, rice paper sushi rolls from Whole Foods.
Sun Sept 30
The DAY OF EIGHT TORTILLAS...I see now that this week has way too many corn tortillas in general.
Tacodeli
Lunch: ?
Dinner: Fresas chicken with uh...tortillas, plus rice and beans, and street corn.
Mon Oct 1
2 eggs cups w oatmeal
Lunch:
Dinner:
Tue Oct 2
2 egg cups w oatmeal
Lunch:
Thai beef salad on greens--beef, sweet chili, basal, mint, greens.
Snacks: Larabars
Wed Oct 3
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries almonds
Thai Beef Salad with brown rice-- beef, sweet chili, basal, mint.
Thur Oct 4
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Thur Oct 4
Egg cups?
Lunch: chicken and greens?
Dinner: Chicken salad with Latin Quinoa Salad from Central Market
Fri Oct 5
2 Egg cups with oatmeal
Lunch: Crazy salad with chicken strips-- I think.
Dinner: Zen stirfry stuff
Snacks: Four Roses bourbon-- Eff You Teaching Career!
Sat Oct 6
Tacodeli Ottos--2 w coffee
Lunch: Big Daddy's bacon cheeseburger salad--meh
Dinner: Chicken salad with carrots and hummus and latin quinoa salad
Snacks: Bourbon and beer!
Sun Oct 7
Tacodeli Ottos--2 w coffee
Whole Foods Brown Rice Salmon Sushi
Mon Oct 8
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Can't remember...the schedule says it was supposed to be Chicken Vindaloo...but the dog ate that, so it can't be right. I think it was a crazy salad with salami.
Steak, Aspargus, Fingerling Potatoes
Tue Oct 9
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Steak, Aspargus, and Fingerling Potatoes
Crazy salad-- Curry chicken salad, tomatoes, almonds, hummus, erething, greens, the kitchen sink.
Wed Oct 10
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Curry Chicken Salad with hummus and tomatoes and greens and berries- aka crazy salad.
Dinner: Beet salad with pork belly and one beer from Black Star Coop.
Snacks: Larabars
Thur Oct 11
Breakfast: Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Curry Chicken Salad + Quinoa salad (both courtesy of Lushie aka The Duchess) on a bed of greens with tomatoes. Pickle.
Dinner: Half- serving of Zen, double chicken on brown rice with veggies and peanut sauce.
Snacks: Larabars
Friday Oct 12-- This was a weird, disorganized eatin day actually.
Breakfast: Eggs and bacon, iced coffee
Snacks: Two thunderbird bars
Lunch: Chicken salad and brown rice
Dinner: Latin Lushie Quinoa, Slice o brisket
Dinner: salami, hummys, Latin Lushie Quinoa
Sat Oct 13
Breakfast: Tacodeli--2 Ottos on corn, 1 Otto no tortilla
Lunch: uhh...breakfast was lunch
Dinner: WF pork loin, sweet potatoes, aspargus
Snack: Almond Delight smoothie
Note: I don't always note it, but a crazy salad could include any or ALL of the following: baked chicken, turkey slices, salami, avocado, boiled eggs, panchetta, bacon, hummus, tomatoes, greens, other hummus, berries.
Leftouts: It seems that I left out many Larabars, some bananas, some sweet potatoes, and some chicken tenders. And a whole bottle of bourbon. Actually, I know where that goes...so I'll edit. Well, I didn't drink it all myself, but I had a good amount.
Also, sometimes we follow the plan exactly; sometimes we don't...but we are always better off for having it.
So, it turns out that if you plan out some meals, and then make a grocery list, and then go to the store (or send your friend), and then make those meals (or have your friend do it), and then eat those meals (with your friend), you'll be totally organized in the eatins arena. Make all the meals! Oh, you have to make time to do all this btw, instead of doing other no-so-adult stuff non-stop, which is probably where I was going wrong before.
Weekend schedule before leg break: Breakfast, yoga, park, lunch, shop for sparkly things, hair, bourbon, breakfast, derby, lunch/dranks, park, yoga, laundry--maybe, sleep.
Weekend schedule now: Breakfast, park, lunch, shop for sparkly things...oh wait. This is almost the same. Well anyhow, I make time for meal planning now.
If you are curious, basically I brainstorm meals based on what I already have and would like to have, like any good writing teacher. Then I plug those meals into a umm...quick graphic organizer/rough draft wherein I plug meals in for dinner and plan to have the same thing for at least one more meal, most likely lunch the next day. Oh jesus...then I write a final draft.
Eatins, approximately anyhow:
Tues Sept 25th
Eggs + bacon
Lunch: Maybe Vindaloo? Not sure.
Dinner: Fresa's chicken with beans, two tortillas, and street corn. AND a side of Junot Diaz, the Pultizer Prize winner, who kissed me. That's right.
Snacks: Beer
Wed Sept 26th
Day off from work: Tacodeli and coffee!
Elevation burger-- lettuce wrapped burgers...with a few fries...cooked in olive oil.
Maybe something else.
Chicken Vindaloo...cooked for the next day...but I'm pretty sure I had a bit at night, as the burger was kinda early.
Thur Sept 27th
Egg Cups with chicken sausage and carrots and yellow tomatoes
Chicken Vindaloo
Tarka-- Chicken Korma with brown rice I brought there my own self. Why no brown rice world?
Fri Sept 28th
Sat Sept 29
Tacodeli-- 3 Ottos
Dinners: Sweet chili chicken with basil and brown rice, small portion. Then, rice paper sushi rolls from Whole Foods.
Sun Sept 30
The DAY OF EIGHT TORTILLAS...I see now that this week has way too many corn tortillas in general.
Tacodeli
Lunch: ?
Dinner: Fresas chicken with uh...tortillas, plus rice and beans, and street corn.
Mon Oct 1
2 eggs cups w oatmeal
Lunch:
Dinner:
Tue Oct 2
2 egg cups w oatmeal
Lunch:
Thai beef salad on greens--beef, sweet chili, basal, mint, greens.
Snacks: Larabars
Wed Oct 3
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries almonds
Thai Beef Salad with brown rice-- beef, sweet chili, basal, mint.
Thur Oct 4
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Thur Oct 4
Egg cups?
Lunch: chicken and greens?
Dinner: Chicken salad with Latin Quinoa Salad from Central Market
Fri Oct 5
2 Egg cups with oatmeal
Lunch: Crazy salad with chicken strips-- I think.
Dinner: Zen stirfry stuff
Snacks: Four Roses bourbon-- Eff You Teaching Career!
Sat Oct 6
Tacodeli Ottos--2 w coffee
Lunch: Big Daddy's bacon cheeseburger salad--meh
Dinner: Chicken salad with carrots and hummus and latin quinoa salad
Snacks: Bourbon and beer!
Sun Oct 7
Tacodeli Ottos--2 w coffee
Whole Foods Brown Rice Salmon Sushi
Mon Oct 8
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Can't remember...the schedule says it was supposed to be Chicken Vindaloo...but the dog ate that, so it can't be right. I think it was a crazy salad with salami.
Steak, Aspargus, Fingerling Potatoes
Tue Oct 9
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Steak, Aspargus, and Fingerling Potatoes
Crazy salad-- Curry chicken salad, tomatoes, almonds, hummus, erething, greens, the kitchen sink.
Wed Oct 10
Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Curry Chicken Salad with hummus and tomatoes and greens and berries- aka crazy salad.
Dinner: Beet salad with pork belly and one beer from Black Star Coop.
Snacks: Larabars
Thur Oct 11
Breakfast: Three Eggs, Three Bacons, Oatmeal with berries and almonds
Lunch: Curry Chicken Salad + Quinoa salad (both courtesy of Lushie aka The Duchess) on a bed of greens with tomatoes. Pickle.
Dinner: Half- serving of Zen, double chicken on brown rice with veggies and peanut sauce.
Snacks: Larabars
Friday Oct 12-- This was a weird, disorganized eatin day actually.
Breakfast: Eggs and bacon, iced coffee
Snacks: Two thunderbird bars
Lunch: Chicken salad and brown rice
Dinner: Latin Lushie Quinoa, Slice o brisket
Dinner: salami, hummys, Latin Lushie Quinoa
Sat Oct 13
Breakfast: Tacodeli--2 Ottos on corn, 1 Otto no tortilla
Lunch: uhh...breakfast was lunch
Dinner: WF pork loin, sweet potatoes, aspargus
Snack: Almond Delight smoothie
Note: I don't always note it, but a crazy salad could include any or ALL of the following: baked chicken, turkey slices, salami, avocado, boiled eggs, panchetta, bacon, hummus, tomatoes, greens, other hummus, berries.
Leftouts: It seems that I left out many Larabars, some bananas, some sweet potatoes, and some chicken tenders. And a whole bottle of bourbon. Actually, I know where that goes...so I'll edit. Well, I didn't drink it all myself, but I had a good amount.
Also, sometimes we follow the plan exactly; sometimes we don't...but we are always better off for having it.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Reality Check: The Day of Eight Tortillas
Dear Self,
Eight tortillas in one day is not nutritionally sound for any style of eater. It doesn't matter how delicious the items inside be, or how wonderfully convenient the tortilla is for transporting things from the plate/bag/basket/napkin to your mouth. It is not right. Be advised.
Thanks,
Self
Dear Self Who Talks to Me Like We Have Multiple Personality Disorder,
See, what had happened was...Tacodeli. And Fresa's. And how I didn't want to inconveinence Jeffery. And we was shopping! And then we got tired!
Shut up and stop judging,
Self
So, what actually had happened was that I got a little ambitious with my coffee and taco treats one weekend. So I know that I have previously posted about avoiding "treat thinking" but that turns out to be pretty hard, especially when you are super broke leg bored. So I've just tried to come up with less harmless treats, such as: Betsey Johnson purses from the discount store, tacos with organic ingredients, and a spot o coffee--on most of the days.TREAT YO SELF! So far, I'm still down an inch or so in the waist, and not too broke, so it's worked out okay. Actually promises of shopping and Tacodeli on the weekend, keep me pretty honest during the week.
However, sometimes I feel sad when the Ottos from Tacodeli are done. And then, I remembered this one time when my friend, let's call her Kottie Darate, had three tacos from Tacodeli and she wasn't fat afterward or anything, so I thought of a solution: Three Ottos! I eat two right away...and one more later. Later means anywhere from 5 mins to 2 hours as it turns out. Its a fine plan except that Tacodeli doubles up those corn tortilla and sometimes I confuse gluten-free with calorie free or carb free.. Like when I asked Jeffery to bring us dinner later that night, and I suggested that he bring us the chicken and beans and tortillas and street corn from Fresa's. I hadn't planned to eat any tortillas, but then TREAT YO SELF! By the time I was smart enough to count up the day's tortillas, I had done already had 8 tortillas, hence the Day of Eight Tortillas.
It actually was a good thing (I guess) because it reminded me that I need to watch the damn carbs, gluten free or not. Now that my bone is presumably (x-rays next week) healed up or close to it, I don't seem to be FOOT HONGRY anymore, so I've cut back a bit on the brown rice. I don't think I've had any in a week (except for the brown rice immabout to eat right now) and I haven't missed it. I'm pretty sure that weight isn't going to just fall off of me, STILL, but it will help.
Anyhoo, that was what had happened.
Eight tortillas in one day is not nutritionally sound for any style of eater. It doesn't matter how delicious the items inside be, or how wonderfully convenient the tortilla is for transporting things from the plate/bag/basket/napkin to your mouth. It is not right. Be advised.
Thanks,
Self
Dear Self Who Talks to Me Like We Have Multiple Personality Disorder,
See, what had happened was...Tacodeli. And Fresa's. And how I didn't want to inconveinence Jeffery. And we was shopping! And then we got tired!
Shut up and stop judging,
Self
So, what actually had happened was that I got a little ambitious with my coffee and taco treats one weekend. So I know that I have previously posted about avoiding "treat thinking" but that turns out to be pretty hard, especially when you are super broke leg bored. So I've just tried to come up with less harmless treats, such as: Betsey Johnson purses from the discount store, tacos with organic ingredients, and a spot o coffee--on most of the days.TREAT YO SELF! So far, I'm still down an inch or so in the waist, and not too broke, so it's worked out okay. Actually promises of shopping and Tacodeli on the weekend, keep me pretty honest during the week.
However, sometimes I feel sad when the Ottos from Tacodeli are done. And then, I remembered this one time when my friend, let's call her Kottie Darate, had three tacos from Tacodeli and she wasn't fat afterward or anything, so I thought of a solution: Three Ottos! I eat two right away...and one more later. Later means anywhere from 5 mins to 2 hours as it turns out. Its a fine plan except that Tacodeli doubles up those corn tortilla and sometimes I confuse gluten-free with calorie free or carb free.. Like when I asked Jeffery to bring us dinner later that night, and I suggested that he bring us the chicken and beans and tortillas and street corn from Fresa's. I hadn't planned to eat any tortillas, but then TREAT YO SELF! By the time I was smart enough to count up the day's tortillas, I had done already had 8 tortillas, hence the Day of Eight Tortillas.
It actually was a good thing (I guess) because it reminded me that I need to watch the damn carbs, gluten free or not. Now that my bone is presumably (x-rays next week) healed up or close to it, I don't seem to be FOOT HONGRY anymore, so I've cut back a bit on the brown rice. I don't think I've had any in a week (except for the brown rice immabout to eat right now) and I haven't missed it. I'm pretty sure that weight isn't going to just fall off of me, STILL, but it will help.
Anyhoo, that was what had happened.
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